The Lies We Live By

by

Pastor B.J. Knefley

I recently found myself with several men discussing the lies we live by. Surprisingly several expressed these with great emotion and struggle. Perhaps you’re wondering what I mean by the lies we live by. Let me try to explain.

The lies that we live by are those that say we must be perfect in everything we do; the one that says we must fix everything; the one that says I’m responsible for the unhappiness in others; the one that says I’m stupid; or the one that says I’m just not good enough. Do you get the picture? We all have them to greater or lessor degrees. And although we may not be consciously aware, they influence everything we say and do. Healing from these lies requires a great deal of inner exploration to find the root cause of the lie and dealing with it. Sound easy? It’s not.

You might wonder how they get there and the answer is quite simple. They enter into our lives by things that were said, or by what we interpreted through a look. Essentially everything we believe about others and ourselves has been developed by what we’ve heard, touched or smelled. For example, the child who comes home with a report card full of A’s and one B and is told, “You could have done better”, can learn that what they do is more important than who they are. They also can learn that perfection is the goal. To miss it means that you’re not quite whole. The compliant child learns quickly that their job is to keep everyone happy so they don’t complain or cause any problems. Comments like, “You’re always in the way” or “ You made us late” create children who grow up to feeling responsible for the problems of others. Now do you get the picture? Please understand that parents don’t set out to harm their children. A simple look can cause a child to interpret displeasure and ultimately create a adult who is constantly looking for approval. Remember, I may not be responsible for what happens to me, but I am responsible for what I do with it. That is why I believe that it’s valuable to look at the lies we live by. Why? Because they are the source for much of our unhappiness and pain and only you can change it. Think about it.