A few years ago, I was asked what I had done for a living. I answered by giving an overview of the professions I had worked in. The next day, I thought about what I had said the night before and realized that, if I looked at the different professions I had worked in, it all came down to a simple idea. I fixed things.

The three major professions I have worked in and draw a pension from are: 15 years with the phone company, fixing lines and service problems; 20 years in mental health, working with the chronically mentally ill and providing family and individual counseling; and, finally, 20 years as a Pastor, which covered a wide range of assessing needs, providing care, and assisting in the walk of faith. All of these involved some aspect of fixing things. 

Over the past year, I have come to realize that caregiving is part of my nature. Caregivers often help repair what is broken, but they must also learn to set boundaries because needy people can drain them. It is not our job to fix everyone. Instead, we help others take the reins and begin healing. In truth, we walk alongside them on life’s path, but we cannot walk it for them. There is also a danger of falling into codependency while helping others. If you’re not sure what that might look like, it’s when people in your life create a need that gives you purpose. Codependency also means putting the needs of others above my own. If you’re codependent, you’ll probably find yourself in one of these three areas: Caretaker, Enabler, or Controller. Although I have learned that I do fix things and enjoy that aspect of my life, I have also learned that fixing things can stem from wrong motives. That’s why codependency is such a danger. A simple prayer for anyone who embarks on the path of helping others is found in Ps 139:23, “Search me, God, and know my heart.” If you’re embarking on an unhealthy road, ask God to reveal that to you. Think about it.