Jacquelyn Baker, LCSW
Behavioral Health, UPMC

Positive relationships with family members, friends, and your community are beneficial to your overall health. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) states that social connectedness promotes making healthy choices plus the ability to cope with anxiety, depression, stress, and trauma.

Valentine’s Day, a holiday centered around romance and relationships, is a great reminder to check in with the state of your overall social wellbeing.

Your Social Check-Up

Just as you gain a better understanding of your physical health and wellbeing through regular check-ups with your provider, you can learn to better understand your social wellbeing by checking-up and checking-in on how you approach your interactions with others. How relational we are with others stems from our ability to listen to others, empathize, and be present when we interact.

Below are several communication skills to practice to create or improve positive social interactions:

• Learn to Listen: Do you listen actively? This entails not just hearing the words spoken to you but comprehending the intentions of the person you are speaking with. Ultimately, listen to understand, not just to respond.
• Actions and Reactions Matter: Body language, although often subtle, is a key component of how others perceive us. Practice making eye contact, facing the person you are speaking with, and tilting your head toward the speaker. These actions show that you are actively engaged in the discussion.
• Emotions Show You Care: Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and show empathy with others. Can you put yourself in the shoes of others and realize what they might be going though in their daily life? Your appropriate response to others’ perspectives can benefit your interpersonal connections.

Not sure where you stand with how you relate to others? A good place to start in building awareness is with some of these common daily occurrences that can highlight areas where there’s room for improvement.

• Phone usage – Do you use your phone as a way to avoid interactions? Do you always keep your headphones on? Try to disconnect if you’re putting more of an effort toward building relationships and being present with new people.
• Humor – Do you use humor at inappropriate times? This is a mechanism that may be used to dissolve your own social anxiety; however, it could create awkward interactions if not deployed fittingly.
• You’re the topic – It’s fine to talk about what’s going on in your life, but is there a balance between your news and your discussion partner’s news? Ask about what’s going on with them and listen genuinely.

Tips for Building Relationships

If you’ve checked-in honestly with yourself and you’re looking to commit to improving your social wellbeing, it’s important to focus on small, manageable actions and goals that overtime can build into larger change. Try out a few of the following tips to help build social connections and put your skills into action:

• Introduce yourself and start conversations with new people
• Plan regular meet ups with friends – coffee dates, lunches, etc.
• Take long walks with your family
• Choose people time instead of screen time
• Take new classes or join a club or gym in your community
• Go to events in your town
• Volunteer for causes that interest you
• Reach out to family members or friends that you haven’t spoken to in a while

It’s never too late to start building relationships and your social circle. It’s okay to take baby steps at first.

Jacquelyn Baker, LCSW, is with UPMC Behavioral Health and sees patients at UPMC Williamsport Divine Providence Campus, 1100 Grampian Blvd., Williamsport. For more information, visit UPMC.com/BehavioralHealthNCPA.