Learning To Say No

by

Pastor B.J. Knefley

Do you have trouble saying no? Before we go much further let me explain a little about what I mean. I’m not necessarily speaking about the saying no to others, although I may touch on this, it’s saying no to yourself.

Since I opened the box, let me explain that saying no to others is extremely important. It has much to do with boundaries and setting good ones. It also relates to knowing your limits, something we all can learn about. When your heart is saying no while your mouth is saying yes you need to start listening to your heart, it can save us a lot of heartache and anxiety. So, if you find yourself asking the question, “What was I thinking,” you might find that you need to work on personal boundaries and self.

Now to saying NO to yourself. I’ve learned over the years that I bite off more than I can chew. In other words, I over do it. I extend myself beyond my limits and then wonder why I’m in such a difficult place. Often this is because I’m thinking that I’m still in my 20’s or 30’s. Let’s face it, I can no longer run a 4:50 mile or bicycle 40-60 miles a day. I’d like to, but I can’t. But guess what? It doesn’t stop me from trying and that’s where I need to learn to say NO! The Scriptures remind me that just because all things are permissible, not all things are good for me. Now I know that Paul wasn’t referring to my specific issue, but I believe it relates.

Learning to say no to yourself is about understanding and knowing your limitations. Of course, one must not only know them but be willing to live within the confines of of their limitations. Perhaps that’s where the problem is found. It’s easy to know what you can no longer do, it’s another to submit to that reality. You see, I find that is where I need to learn to say NO, I can’t do that. Another aspect of this is the issue of asking for help. Part of saying no to yourself is recognizing that you need help. Wow, now that is a big one. Asking for help is admitting that you’re unable to do something that you probably used to be able to do without any problem. Where are you in this conundrum? Think about it.