Listen

B.J. Knefley

Listen! How well do you do that? Are you a good listener? How would you know? What would others say? Can you listen and not hear? 

I’ve learned over the years that listening and hearing are not the same. How are they different? Listening involves understanding while hearing does not. A child hears that the stove is hot but touches it anyway because they don’t hear with understanding. When we are listening there is a sense of understanding information that is being presented.

In relationships, mine included, listening, or not listening can be a real problem. I can hear my wife say something and forget it as soon as I heard it. I can be accused of not listening and argue back that I’ve heard every word that was said. Although true, I’ve probably not understood a thing that was said. If you’re married, I’m sure you’ll understand what I’m saying. So, what’s the solution? How do I move from hearing to listening?

I’ve learned that part of listening is the ability to mirror back what was heard. It also might include asking clarifying questions like, “This is what I heard you say.”. I also like to ask the question, “If I were listening, how would you know?”. To this last question my wife might say, “Put down the phone, stop playing with the dog and give me eye contact.”. In other words, give me your full attention. For someone who is always fidgeting with something, getting quiet to actively listen is no small task.

Our listening skills effect every part of our life including the spiritual side. The writer of Hebrews stated this about his hearers. “There is much more we would like to say about this, but it is difficult to explain, especially since you are spiritually dull and don’t seem to listen.” (Hebrews 5:11) It has caused me to ask myself is this is true with me? How well do I listen spiritually? Do I hear with no action or change? Do you? Think about it.