Paul stated, “Don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry (Eph 4:26, NLT). Another translation says, “be angry but sin not.” How does one do this? Is anger wrong? If it isn’t, then where is that invisible line we cross into sin? The answer lies in a simple word: rage. A simple definition of rage is losing one’s temper. It is often characterized as anger being out of control. 

Anger should be viewed as a sign of a deeper problem instead of the problem itself. It acts to protect something inside us. Usually, it connects to one of three basic needs: power, love, or belonging. When we feel rejected, belittled, abandoned, or when our feelings are minimized and we feel demeaned and devalued, we tend to lash out to defend that part of ourselves. 

I grew up in a home where anger was not accepted. Seeing anger as a negative emotion, I learned to describe my feelings with different words. For example, I was never angry; instead, I might say I was annoyed or upset. This inability to recognize anger as a healthy emotion caused various problems. Since I was never taught how to manage anger properly, I ended up denying I ever experienced it. When denial didn’t work, rage would often explode, followed by feelings of guilt, shame, and remorse. Because the underlying issue wasn’t addressed, a cycle formed that, in many ways, resembled a split personality like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 

Sadly, many people have never understood that anger is a positive emotion given to us by God for good reasons. It is partly there to alert us to an internal issue. However, because many fear anger, we try to control it through suppression and denial. The result is that suppressed and denied anger eventually erupts as rage. To address anger issues, you first need to realize that you have it. Are you willing to ask and answer that question? Think about it.