A Year of Firsts

by

Pastor B.J. Knefley

Perhaps you’ve never thought about it, but many will be experiencing firsts during this year. For example, if you’ve lost a spouse, this is the first year without them, the first Christmas, New Years, etc. If you’ve just had a child, this will be their first Christmas and yours too with a newborn.

Many firsts are fun and great to experience yet others, not so much. Death can create many hardships and difficulties. For some it doesn’t get easier after the second, third or even the fourth year. Life can be hard, and many are alone and suffer in silence. Death, separation, or just the experience of life can cause many to find their life is different than what they planned. Sometimes, this is the way life goes. It’s never in a straight line; it always has curves and bends. We must learn to adapt if we’re going to survive. Personally, I don’t always like to adapt. I like life to be consistent and predictable, but that’s not always possible, is it?

I saw this on the Internet the other day and although I don’t know who wrote it, I believe it’s a very powerful thought.

“I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was the sad time

that followed the death of someone you love. And you had

to push through it to get to the other side. But I’m learning

there is another side. There is no pushing through. But

rather, there is absorption, adjustment and acceptance. And

grief is not something you complete, but rather, you

endure. Grief is not a task to finish and move one from, but

an element of yourself, an alteration of your being, a new

way of seeing, a new definition of self.”

Each of us can have a year of firsts, the challenge is to not get stuck in firsts, but recognize that this is life, and with life, we are evolving into new ways of seeing, new ways of defining, and new ways of being who we are. Be careful not to allow firsts to define you. You are much more than that. Think about it.