by

Pastor B.J. Knefley

Have you happened to take notice that life is more often about what we can do rather than what we can be. We look for things to do in life, what to do for others, what we can contribute to society or our family. But I wonder, what would happen if rather than focus upon what we can do, we started to focus upon what we can be?

Throughout life I believe that we’ve been taught to do. What we can do to become better in life. It plays out in every area. What we can do to be a better spouse, parent, employee, or employer. Some may even remember the quote by John F. Kennedy, “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.” Notice that even in this, it’s about doing. But is it just about doing? Is being a part of that? Is it important? I believe that it’s very important, in fact even more important than doing.

There are times in our life that we find ourselves in a difficult place. Perhaps it’s the death of a loved one, or some other type of trauma that shakes us to the core. The one thing we don’t need is someone coming up to us to tell us what we need to do. We probably already know what we need to do, we’re just not ready or able to do it. What we do need is someone to just sit with us. Often this sitting is without words. I’ve called this simply a ministry of presence. But quietly sitting with someone is hard. We’re accustomed to fixing something, to make it all better. We think that talking is what we need to do because being feels so awkward. Yet being is just the response that is needed.

The idea of doing vs. being came from the book, “Hybrid Church” by James Emory White. He states that the church is often looking for what it can do for its community rather than for something it can be. Sadly, I believe that it’s true. Perhaps before we can do for someone, we must learn how to be what they need. To do that we will need to learn to sit with them and just listen. From there we’ll understand what they truly need. Think about it.